This week’s episode is short and sweet.

I walked around American University to talk to the AU Vets community members. I spoke with veterans and ROTC students and had them give me a quick description of what it means to be a warrior.

We’re back next week with a full length interview.

Enjoy!

This week’s warrior is Army veteran Steve Sxaks.

Steve is no stranger to Lawson Entertainment as he’s joined me on Veteran Empire and 1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide. We’ve also collaborated on a podcast I host for them called Mighty Mighty Marsten House.

Steve is a co-founder of Marsten House, a recording studio and record label in Philadelphia. His business in the hip hop industry has grown over the years and is worthy of respect.

Steve joins us to discuss the usual questions: what it means to be a warrior, challenges he faces, what inspires him. He also shares with us the journey that brought him to the studio, pivoting the business during adversity, and becoming a teacher.

Be sure to share your thoughts with us on Twitter using #FuelForWarriors.

@Steve_Sxaks (guest)

@TimLawson21 (host)

@LockNLoadJava (Production partner)

@LawsonEntertain (Production)

Episode 40 brings us Marine veteran Justin Blazejewski. Justin is the founder of VETOGA, an organization that brings yoga to the veteran community.

Justin talks with Tim about discovering yoga, the short term and long term benefits, and the motivation behind starting VETOGA.

Also, Justin answers the staple questions of what it means to be a warrior, the challenges he faces, and what ultimately inspires him.

Thank you for joining us for another week of motivation and insight.

Let us know what you think of this episode on Twitter using #FuelForWarriors

@PolockBlaze (Guest)

@TimLawson21 (Host)

@LockNLoadJava (Production Partner)

@LawsonEntertain (Production)

Timothy Lawson: All right warriors, welcome back to another episode of fuel for warriors. This week’s guest is my friend Justin Blazejewsk is that right?

Justin Blazejewski: That’s right

Tim: Oh I got it. I got it. And I probably only got it right because I did that video on you where I recited your name a number of times while recording that so I had to get use to saying it. It looks like blay jewiski.

Justin: It’s spelled like blay jewiski.

Tim: Which is interesting but it’s Blazejewski. Justin you and I connected, I think, it’s been about a year ago?

Justin: Yeah. Actually I think it’s been January in your time timeframe so a little over a year maybe.

Tim: Um we met through mutual friends in the veteran space and I quickly learned about what Justin does with his efforts with vetoga. Vetoga as I mentioned in the intro it’s a yoga class. I guess it’s more than just a class, it’s the whole community bringing veterans together and their supporters which I think is really important. Helping them learn about yoga. What Vetoga isn’t unfortunately is a toga party for vets.

Justin: Not yet. {Laughs}

Tim: Not yet.

Justin: We can work on that later.

Tim: I think that was a fundraising idea.

Justin: Yeah it was a fundraising idea we came up with.

Tim: So Justin I’ve been looking forward to asking you this because I think this I think that is a unique question for everybody and we haven’t had someone, well we haven’t had a yogi answer this question yet.
As a veteran and as a yogi and as anything else that best informs us, what to you is a warrior?

Justin: Oh not to state the obvious but of course those brave men and women who have served and those who continue to serve our nations freedom is what first comes to mind. Being a marine, being a veteran, being a yogi its changed my view of what a warrior is. Through walking this path that I’m on its doing the hard work, walking down the path that most people usually give up on. Watching all the sacrifices you make along the way to get there and to see others and their sacrifices that they make to get to their goals of a life of service and doing the right thing even when everything in the world is working against them.

Tim: How has your study of yoga and mindfulness and spirituality and all of that, how has that informed how you feel about the warrior ethos?

Justin: Well, being a marine, and as a veteran and a contractor spending well over a decade in Iraq and Afghanistan, multiple tours back and forth, you know doing the work out there you see the results of what you think a warrior is and what were programmed to think as a marine. You feel like you’re doing the right thing and I still feel that way but that’s only part of the battle. When you come home and you deal with your own demons and see the suicides that were seeing. The veteran population not getting what they deserve. It’s how can we serve these that have served us? That’s where the challenge is coming for me. My passion and my struggles and that I continue on to serve is, how do I help this demographic? How do I continue to serve with my capabilities and where my inspirations and where my goals are in life? How do they align with that from a pure space?

Tim: Tell us about your path into yoga. You can be brief but before we get into some deeper questions I want to make sure the audience has some context about how you transitioned from military veteran to yogi extraordinaire.

Justin: So I did 5 years in the marine core, and I became a government contractor and that’s when I did most of my travel to the war zone and the war theaters. So I did a few dozen TDYs back and forth for ten years consistently. I think my final number was 41 to 42 TDYs I can’t remember but way too many. And in the middle of that it was around 2008 where I sustained some injuries, was dealing with the deepest darkest point of my life. Depression, suicidal thoughts, like coming back and forth, losing my girlfriend, noticing I was being an asshole to everybody, noticing my demons coming up and I didn’t know how to deal with them. And physically being broken to where I couldn’t use my coping mechanism for stress. Like going running, or going out and exercising. The things that I would usually use for coping mechanism, I had to look at other things. And I had to give up, what I thought back then, was my man card. You know I was a marine, I was tough and that’s what I was in my head and I’m not going to do yoga. But I got beaten down so hard, and was in such a dark place that I had no choice. Luckily my roommate took me to a yoga class and I found that physical peace that I was looking for. But when I was lying there in my first corpse pose during my class, and it was like 10 minutes long and something clicked. I felt something I hadn’t felt in years. Where I had that sweetness and that other side of me, that healing side that I hadn’t even tasted for so long it was so apparent to me that that was the path. I wanted more of that. Whatever it was I wanted more. That was the turning point in my life where I really, it was just right away, like when I found yoga I dove right in because I found the benefits right away for myself and what I was dealing with.

Tim: That’s amazing! And there’s a point to that story that I hadn’t really heard you specifically mention before and that’s that last part, about you being in that corpse pose and something clicking and feeling something you hadn’t felt in for however long. What then, was that enough motivation to pursue yoga and to pursue that life?

Justin: It was enough to make me look at it. You know being a marine and being programmed to think yoga was a feminine looking exercise. Were programmed, were a product of our environment, we do a lot of things that our brothers do around us. Doing yoga was not one of them. So it was enough to make me do yoga and hear shit from my fellow marines telling me, “I can’t believe you’re going to do that. Why are you doing this?” Talking trash, and I had to stand up to me them. Because it felt enough to me like the right thing to do. Going back to the warrior mentality of doing the right thing even when others feel it’s not the right thing. Getting naysayers you know? That make sense?

Tim: Absolutely. And it’s funny you say that because one of the most, and I don’t mean this as a slight, stereotypical marines that I know is doing yoga right now. And it’s I think it’s every man who has looked at yoga as a feminine thing and let that be a reason why they let that be their barrier of entry. Once they’ve tried yoga once they’ve realized how tough they’re not. {Laugh} When it comes to what their body is capable of doing and you realize how many different parts of your body isn’t as strong as you thought it was. Or how much endurance you have for certain things. I knew that I tried yoga for the first time by myself in the convenience of my own room so there was zero consequences to failing. It immediately justified why I’d want to do yoga. Holy smokes I can’t do this very well. Like what she’s doing on the screen is impossible for me to do right now. And I’m struggling to get halfway there. {Laughs}
Tell us about your progress. How long did it take until your body was comfortable and capable of doing so many of the yoga routines that we see on the YouTube videos and stuff?

Justin: First off it’s very humbling when you start taking yoga for the first time. Being a marine, working out, and doing the typical things that we do in the fitness world. So when I see a girlfriend dragging her boyfriend in that happens to be a marine, or I can see they are looking around like I can’t believe I’m here. It’s my job to kick their ass and leave them in a puddle of sweat first of all. I usually do that quite well. Like you said yoga is very challenging and it needs to be.
But for myself the transition, was hard. It was very hard for me. I went five days a week for six months. The first six months that I tried yoga. I was injured so I couldn’t travel during that time frame so I really needed something else. It was nothing but positive for rehabbing for my injuries that I had. But sitting for long periods of time in meditation was like torture for me. Doing some of these poses and trying to manipulate my body was just not happening. It physically hurt, and I was still stubborn and trying to force these things when my body wasn’t ready. So it took a good year before I was finally beating my head up against the wall trying to force all of these poses that I couldn’t do yet. As soon as I let go of that push in my head it was like another switch where my body started to relax and let go. But I had to mentally let go of having my attachment to that goal of getting to that pose and as soon as I let it go it was a magical transition where things just started happening with my body physically letting go. I could do a lot of these flexible poses that I was seeing. It was a painful process and it’s very humbling along the way.

Tim: Any relaxation practice, and I would definitely considered yoga one of these practices, where it becomes a paradox the more you try to do it. Obviously the effort is involved and concentration but like with meditation and relaxation and a lot of relaxation type of practices it becomes such a paradox to try to force yourself into it or put mental effort into trying to do something.

Justin: Yeah. The more you try the harder it is. The more you let go, it’s crazy how things unfold, and the practice gives back to you. But also things around you in life become easeful as opposed to swimming upstream when you’re forcing things.
Tim: Have you seen the move Office Space?

Justin: Oh yeah. {Laughs}

Tim: So you know there’s that key point in the whole movie is when he decides to just not go into work. He seems to be in like a state of euphoria. I’ve noticed that to be, when I’m successful into getting yoga, meditation and mindfulness into my routine not just doing when I think I should do it or like I’m stiff I should do yoga, like making it a regular practice. There’s times where I experience that euphoria. Like you know what screw everything else I feel great. Did you ever experience, when did you first experience that as you were doing some of these healing practices?

Justin: Very early. Like I said the relaxation pose where you’re lying on your back, Savasana (the corpse pose).
The teacher I was always going to class with had a very regular class and you had a deep relaxation of 8 to 10 minutes. There was no question. I was trying to relax and thinking about it but after a while I was just letting go and that’s where I was finding these deepest relaxations and these parts of me that I didn’t know existed. Where I had I didn’t have to do anything at that point. Throughout the rest of my practice whenever I was trying, trying, and trying to meditate and sit there it was very distracting. The pain sitting upside in a seated position with legs crossed for me was just torture. I had to realize I didn’t have to sit like that perfect Buddha statue I could sit in a regular seated stance, or I could sit in a chair. So finding some of these modifications where I didn’t have to be like everybody else, I didn’t have to look like that Lula lemon fitness model, I could modify and make the practice my own. And when I started to develop that adaptability is when I really saw things start to get easeful in the practice.

Tim: One of the best pieces of advice I got on meditating was to not expect anything. I think when you’re new to this stuff. Especially meditation you expect an epiphany at some point. {Laughs} When I’m done with this I’ll have my problem solved and I’ll know how to better. You expect to have this spiritual discovery in side this 10 minute window that you decided to meditate. I know you also practice meditation so I don’t know if that happened around the same time as yoga but tell us about your learning experiences since getting into meditation as well.

Justin: The meditation, I had a martial arts background before I found yoga, and I did have a meditation practice. So that part was familiar to me, and I would get to a point of where I would have that euphoria or aha moment this is what it feels like. I would get a test of that bliss. All it was was a layer and then you’re to the next layer. I’d go a year or so through my yoga practices and different teachers and I’d travel around the world. I did the retreats, and study with amazing people and in those moments I’d get to another point where I was just sitting there in my meditation. I remember one time in 2009 I was in Bali. It was a huge, huge, moment where I heard the kirtan, which is the chanting music you hear traditionally in yoga. I had no idea what it was. And I just felt this euphoria pouring over my body, I felt like I just had transcended into another layer and there I was. It was just another layer, but I was more aware of what was going on around me. I was more aware and familiar with that feeling of connecting to the source within and that was back in 2009. Here I am in 2016 and I’ve had several deep moments like that and each moment is just another layer like an onion. You’re going into the layers of your physical body, letting go, going into letting go of the mental thought patterns that were programmed to have. Connecting with who you really are and getting away from who were programmed by society to be. It’s more so every layer you get passed, you kind of settle there and then look for the next layer. It’s never ending. It’s life. Were human beings, were here for a reason. Were here to experience life but the journey to go within and connect with your soul is why I’ve been on this path for and what I feel the most blissful in my life. When I’m searching for and finding those moments of euphoria like you said.

Tim: so Justin we’ve talked to the audience about who you are, what it means to be a warrior, introduced your journey into yoga and meditation and other healing arts. So now let’s talk about vetoga. A decent portion of my audience are military members, or veterans or family and friends of veterans. Tell us about, first what inspired you to create vetoga, and then what it is now?

Justin: Okay. So inspiration I was at yogi and starting in 2008 I was traveling back and forth between Iraq and Afghanistan a lot as a contactor and when I was out there I was doing my own yoga practice. I noticed everyone around me was like hey you want to lead a class? So I started teaching out there before I even knew what I was doing. After a while I was noticing how much people loved it so I wanted to educated myself. So the reason I became a yoga instructor, did the teacher training, was to educate myself so I could teach classes overseas and give them those moments of stress relief that I was finding working in those high stress environments in the war zone.
That was the initial though and throughout the years I was working as a contractor, I was making good money, I was taking vacations, I was doing education classes. Continuing to get teachers training in yoga and build my resume as a yogi and I always am grateful. I am always grateful for what I have and those thoughts of gratitude and what, and how can I give back from taking and learning all this yoga sharing this practice with others like me who may not have the ability or opportunity to find this path. So that was the idea or the seed planted a few years ago and I didn’t stop my travel to the war zones until 2014. I promised myself a year off to get myself right and deal with my demons. To get myself in a good place to where I could form something. I still didn’t know what it was going to be. But in 2015 the beginning of the year it came to me very clearly to start vetoga. We launched in May of 2015 for the nonprofit organization. Vetoga’s mission is to bring yoga, meditation, and other healing arts to military veterans, law enforcement, and emergency responders, their families and communities, and very much focusing on families and communities because without a support system in place we all know what path that leads to. We want to bring these healing arts and yoga, to these people who need it most but we also want to build a collective community around them to support them.

Tim: That’s amazing! And I think it’s so important, and I tip my hat to you for recognizing, the support system around the veteran as well. That was something that we noticed in the in interview did with you for the video is how inclusive it was. I think one thing that the veteran community and one thing that society has done and falling in short in giving back to the veteran community is acknowledging how much sacrifice is being done inside the family. So I tip my hat to you sir for including that segment of the veteran space and making sure that their given the opportunity as well.

Justin: Well I recognize that, like I said, before I found yoga in the 2008/2009 time frame those dark moments I was in, I have a great family and great friend community support system around me and I was still titter tottering on that idea of suicide and these thoughts and the darkness that was consuming me. I always imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have that. There’s no question I would have quickly went down a very bad road. I never forget that. The more people I meet that are on a similar path, they talk about the same thing. Their support system. Particularly the spouses. There are people with PTS that come back as veterans and there’s a 90% divorce rate. It’s extremely high. After a divorce there are other things that unravel and if you don’t a have a support system it could spiral really quickly into a spiral of hell. So I never forget that. I’m always grateful for what I have and I know how important the support system is. Including family, community and friends.

Tim: So Justin one of the routine questions on the show, what challenges are you facing, either personally or professionally and what are you doing to better overcome them?

Justin: Like I said one of the first things is dealing with my own demons. My anger, my reactivity, the residual effects of working in a high stress environment for all of those years. Once I settled before starting this nonprofit I felt like I was in a good place but it presented its own challenges. The business side of things, starting the nonprofit, I had no idea what it was to take to start a nonprofit and I had a small yoga business just teaching free-lance yoga at that point, but it’s a totally different beast. Just surrendering to ask for advice. To reach out to other people who have done this path was being humble and asking for help.

So my challenges were letting go of my own pride and my stubbornness that I had around me. To reach out to others to have them help me build this business and make it successful so I could reach those who needed it most.

Tim: You know the name of this show Fuel For Warrios, what is the fuel for your warrior? What is getting you up every morning what ultimately inspires you?

Justin: What inspires me is seeing the results and hearing back from these people who do come to my classes, getting the emails getting voicemails from people and texts. Things that just blow my mind and continue to this day. I was teaching for a long time and I had people in my class that I had no idea what their stories were. This was before vetoga. They’d keep coming they were quiet and there are dozens of examples but here’s one. This woman came in she’s like for some reason tonight you talked about the spouse in the relationship and how important that is to veterans. My husband and I just got divorced last week, and we tried and tried and it wasn’t right and he tried to commit suicide several times and I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t have the strength anymore and I didn’t know what I was going to do, she’s like just hearing that you guys actually care and coming to a yoga place and being able to find a safe place where I can just let go of everything and be here is just changed my outlook on life. I want to thank you. That’s just one example. Like I said I get students all the time and it never ceases to amaze me, how much it is impactful. You don’t realize what you’re doing until you hear back from these people and it’s so powerful to hear where they were and the darkness they were looking at because you’d have no idea looking at them. You’d think it’s just another person in your class.

Tim: I like that you’ve experienced that because I’ve experienced similar things with the 1, 2 Many Project and it really is.
I don’t know what time frame you’ve envisioned vetoga to be a part of your life but like with the 1, 2 Many Project I thought it was just going to be a short term, finite thing and because of those type of responses I felt obligated to continue with them to make them available for people. I’m sure you’ve experienced similar inspirations with the stories you just shared with us.
Before I let you go I have one question for you. What has surprised you about your work in yoga especially with veterans? Is there anything that sort of as you got into this idea of sharing yoga with veterans was there anything that sort of surprised you or taken you aback on either success or challenges?
Justin: One thing in particular right now. I launched in May of 2015, and my goal is to have monthly classes in D.C and do a yoga festival. That was my only grounds to start and I didn’t know where it was going to go.
That was successful. We’re doing our monthly classes and were planning the festival. I created this teacher training that starts in November of 2016 which is going to bring in veterans and teach them how to be yoga instructors. So I put that offering out there. I wrote a teacher training program, I got it accredited by yoga alliance, and I put it out there for those who want to be a yoga instructor who are veterans please sign up. On my daily email that I get from veterans, military, and spouses that have emailed that I have interest in this teacher training, if a successful teacher yoga program if you receive 10- 15 people that’s considered a success. I have 25+ people that want to take this program. In the short amount of time that I even put the word out. Part of the indoc file is tell me a little bit about yourself and why you want to become a yoga instructor. I’m floored everyday by people’s backgrounds, their sacrifice, what they’ve done in their life and what has brought them to where they want to become a yoga instructor and why. Those are the things that continue to surprise me every day. It’s like a new story, and a real person behind that email. I always reach out and connect with them. And have a personal interaction with them afterwards. I did not expect this. It just continues to humble me and make my heart warm to see that others like me have been searching for something like this and vetoga is providing that for them. To see them reach out is very surprising and rewarding.

Tim: That’s amazing. It’s really cool. Being a yoga instructor may be something I have to put on my bucket list. Getting certified as a yoga instructor.
Justin: We can take care of you and do that.

Tim: I think that the first step is getting my body to be able to do half of the things that I see your body do. {Laughs}

Justin: Hey we got the monthly classes’ brother. We’ll see you there.

Tim: I’d really hope to go to yesterdays but I got tied down with some things that needed to happen before we started. Which it was probably more reason I should have gone. That’s what’s funny about yoga and meditation. The busier you are the more necessary it is to do these things.

Justin: You’ll get there when the times right.

Tim: Absolutely.

Justin thank you so much for the time. I know your time is valuable and I appreciate it. IF anybody is interested in vetoga or collaborating with you how can they get ahold of you?

Justin: Go to vetoga.org. On our website the teacher training are a big push right now so we have a go fund me campaign where were raising funds to sponsor these veterans to become yoga instructors so paying for their teaching training which is GoFundMe.com/vetoga. There’s a Facebook page if you search for vetoga and Instagram and twitter also. We post on Facebook our monthly classes, and our quarterly events when we’re doing events for veterans or any fundraisers we will be doing we will post on there or the website.

Tim: Excellent. Justin thank you so much for your time.

Justin: Thanks brother I appreciate it.